“They say your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the moment before you die. That might be true if you're terminally ill or your parachute doesn't open, but if death sneaks up on you the only thing you have time to think is... “Awww shit!!” -George-Dead Like Me-
Every cloud has a silver lining, you just have to look for it. The offspring reminded me of that again last night. After a 14 hour day, I arrived home to find the offspring standing in military style formation (grouped by age) just inside the front door. "Judas Priest" I thought. I dropped my bags in the entryway and asked the eldest what had happened. From behind her back she pulled a ziploc baggie that contained the remains of Floyd their pet lizard. My heart sank as I realized that I now had the sad job of performing a "goldfish" funeral for the dearly departed. Life can be cruel to children, and curve balls thrown can be overwhelming. I was informed that the smaller kiddies had tried to be helpful and had taken Floyd and our dog for a walk. (In the snow and cold, on a piece of dental floss) You have to give it to them...they meant well...lol (I shouldn't be laughing, but it is kind of funny how innocent they are) No, I never ask what the exact cause of death was...
In single file formation, the kiddies moved down the hallway to the bathroom and circled the toilet. "Me no see!" came a shriek from the 3yr old as she bullied her way to the front. Oh how I love my grand-daughter. She can be so dominant at times. "Are we all ready"? I asked. "Yes!" came a chorus of voices.
I cleared my throat and put on my best preacher face. "Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life…" But before I could finish my sentence the kiddies interrupted... “MOM/AUNTIE!!” they shrieked...”That's NOT funny!!” “WHAT?!?!” I said, “I'm trying to conduct a funeral here, no comments from the peanut gallery.” From the back of the crowd I was politely reminded (again) that I am NOT a rock star and to let Prince keep singing his song. “Ok, geez...back to the funeral.” I sighed.
“We are gathered here today, to pay our respect to Floyd. He was our dear friend, and he will be missed. Life, as we see clearly on an occasion such as this, is always lived in the presence of death, and the brightness of life is highlighted by the shadow of death. Death is a natural phenomenon at the end of each cycle of life." (Heaven love my 15yr old niece for her Circle of Life riff...) "As soon as we are born, we are old enough to die, yet few of us consciously recognize that all life, not only the years after three score and ten, all life is a fragile and precious gift. Mortality is built into the fiber of all things living. Floyd was our friend, and saw us through many happy and sad times. He lived a good life and we are grateful for the time we had together. May he rest in peace.” “AMEN” came a chorus of voices. We bowed our heads for about 30 seconds and then I turned Floyd's cold lifeless body out of the baggie and into the toilet. Plop! As the older kiddies quarreled over who got the honor of flushing Floyd, the grand baby was taking matters into her own hands. She grabbed the toilet paper, covered him with a few squares, and flushed. “Oh no! Uh-oh” she squealed. “Yeah!! me do gin me do gin” She jumped around clapping her hands in excitement. It was so funny that soon all the kiddies were laughing. I can't tell you how thankful I am for laughter...it's the silver lining in a rain cloud. The offspring will experience death in their lifetime, it's just a fact of life. There will sadly be more animals, and friends and family who pass. They will stand witness to it, but as long as they are able to remember the good times and find laughter, they will make it through the storm. As I tucked them into bed, my nephew told me that he was ok that Floyd had died because now his daddy had a friend. Then he asked if we could get a snake :p You've got to love kids!! When my head finally hit my own pillow, I was the one who cried...not tears of sorrow, but tears of happiness. I know that we are all going to be alright.
PS- WE ARE NOT GETTING A SNAKE!!!
